I am not fine!
So here I am, in the aftermath of the New Year's glitter and promises, trying to keep my head above water amidst a whirlwind of unexpected blows. Life threw me a curveball – setbacks, disappointments, and a heartbreaking tragedy that left me reeling. This isn't your typical "I'm not fine" moment; this is the raw, unfiltered truth.
I kicked off with restlessness, graduated to insomnia-fueled couch marathons, and finally, landed in a state where every inch of my body aches – the kind of ache that makes you want to hibernate and shut the world out. And what did I do? I put on a brave face, told everyone around me, and even convinced myself that I was "fine."
Let's be real. I AM NOT FINE! I'm hurting, I'm grappling with sadness, and honestly, I feel like shit. There, I said it.
As I pour my thoughts onto the screen, my stomach churns with that familiar nervous pain that comes when you're about to lay bare your soul. It's ironic – my sister and co-author, Kelly, is diving into a well-being journey this year, and here I am, feeling like I've taken a wrong turn somewhere. My well-being is hanging by a thread, with my heart shattered by the unimaginable loss of my Aunt Ila, a friend's rejection, the chaotic political landscape, and my son, Julian, stuck in a seemingly purposeless rut. It's a lot to carry.
So, what's the game plan?
First off, I'm owning up to it – I need help, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Professional help is on the horizon, a compass to navigate the storm of emotions.
Then there's the elusive concept of rest. Now, those who know me know I'm not exactly best friends with the idea, but my body is staging a rebellion, and it's time to listen.
And last but not least, a spa session is on the cards for Monday – a therapeutic, "hurts so good" massage that promises a physical release matching the emotional weight on my shoulders.
Three commitments. That's what I can handle right now. I want to be fine, but the first step in healing is acknowledging when you're not. So here I am, embracing the chaos and taking small but meaningful steps towards reclaiming my well-being. Stay tuned for the journey – it's bound to be a bumpy, honest ride.
Love and Peace!
Tune in to a recent Lucy Leadership Project Virtual Book Talk on Navigating Workplace Trauma with Dr. Christina Camp. This discussion led to my commitments to my healing. Click the image below to watch/listen.
Want to explore your well-being? Save the date! Kelly and I are hosting a well-being workshop on February 20, 2024, from 6:30 PM to 8:30 PM EST.
Registration Opens Next Week! Space is limited.
